Reminiscence~

i blame myself for it.
juggling my mind and thoughts.
everything seems fallen apart for me.
or maybe it's just me.
i can't stop it.
i find no reason for myself to be happy.
but i'm still finding reason to be happy.

i regretted not going in to see her for the last time.
i regretted not visiting her in the past few years.
but rip great-grandmum.

i can't face myself, face the others.
i know i'm not being myself.
it may just seems that, everything is fallen apart.
people drift away from one another.
sometimes, the little things that your say,
although it was just a remark, it make a big impact.
i know it myself that it maybe a joke.
but at times, i really am not able to take it.

the things and stuff that your say,
it clearly reflects on me.
maybe in the first place, i should be the one that is out.
i don't know. i don't know how to handle all this relationship again.
i'm tired. i'm scare. i fear. but i still act a strong front.
i know at times, the stuff that your say was just for fun.
but maybe i just take it too seriously.

guess i was just lousy and not able to handle all these.
all along, i'm just alone.
i don't know who to turn to already.

maybe i was the one that acted weird.